Monday, February 23, 2009

GUEST BLOGGER CONTRIBUTION - Of Ass Kissers And Ball Carriers Part l

Anyone fancy being hired as a highly paid Assistant Sales Manager? No qualifications? Never mind la ……. So long as you say “yes” to whatever shit your boss says, you’ll be paid a staggering RM6000.00 per month, doing NOTHING. Well, nothing a normal Assistant Sales Manager would do anyway.

So here’s what the Assistant Sales Manager (hereafter known as AK – Ass Kisser) does everyday. AK goes into the small boss’ (hereafter known as SB) room to have a puff with him and hear SB rant and rant and whine and whine about whatever issues he wants to get off his chest. All AK needs to do is to nod his head every now and then, sympathize with SB and of course agree to what SB’s ranting about. AK will follow SB out for lunch or sales calls like a small dog following his master.
Simple isn’t it? And when AK’s sales staff goes to him for help or advise, AK will just tell them this well rehearsed and most commonly used phrase :-
“Ermm I don’t know woh. Let me check with my boss (SB) and get back to you”

When the sales staffs complain to the “bigger boss” (hereafter known as BB) about AK’s incompetence, BB will advise the sales staff:-

“I know, I know he is not clever and is incompetent, you all chip in to help him lo, teach him lo.”

WTF, WTF, WTF??!!!

The sales staffs have to “teach” their superior?? All his Excel and Power Point presentations are prepared by the staff. All he needs to do is to present (sometimes I don’t know whether he comprehends what he’s presenting) during the meetings. He doesn’t even know how to use basic Excel and Power Point.

Heck, he’s got no emailing skills either. Once he had to inform the sales team about a training one of our suppliers was conducting. So the email heading read something like this:-

“Refreshment Course by ……… (the company)”

This happens all the time. AK on the phone with customer:-

“Harlow, Mr X ah, I want to appointment you ……..”

BB always sings praises that AK’s very loyal to the company, and that he doesn’t look for “lobang” outside. Of course he’s loyal la. WHO in the right mind will hire this fella? WHERE else can he go? WHAT can he do besides lick ass and carry balls?

But wait a minute, wait a minute. If he doesn’t have an ounce of grey matter between his ears, how come he knows how to play politics, like sucking up to the small boss’ mistress? (hereafter known as SBM or BOTC – Bitch Of The Century)

That, dear readers, will be in another installment …… stay tuned

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